Rows of couches and tents

Makeshift living rooms underneath an overpass
I pass them by

feb 2018

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Pretty is a trap by the patriarchy

Designed to force your brainspace
To focus on minute trivial details
Like the wrinkles beneath your eyes
Or the unnatural hairlessness of your legs
This trap was created when men realized
That it is easier to control pretty
Than it is to control smart or funny or really, most other adjectives
Pretty is a scepter that points to the majority of women and renders them invisible
This is until, at least, they are able to afford a beauty regimen or surgery that paints over their invisible skin and render them worthy enough to be seen
Either way that you become seen, this is a temporary phenomenon that expires by the time you’re 30, 40 if you’re lucky
Cute is a manifestation of pretty
Cute is when pretty gets mad but in a non threatening way
Cute is when pretty knows things but is still embarrassed that she does
Cute is when pretty is having Adult emotions while not having Adult confidence
Hot is the sexual manifestation of pretty
Hot is used to pit pretty girls against each other
Hot is being uncomfortable and unnatural for the affection of a partner
In porn and Hollywood, hot is when a woman is has all the right confines of pretty but she is able to sharpen the tools she was given to be the perfect screw herself
Hot is the image of sexual desire and satisfaction with 0 of the actual orgasms
Hot is a series of contradictions created by people who can only imagine a woman being able to wield power through sexuality
It isn’t that these words are inherently bad
Or that physical beauty is not part of humanity
But it is the belief that the basis of our worth lies on our flawed definition of Pretty
feb 2018
Reading this again, I think this *has* something interesting, but it feels a little ‘high school’, maybe because ‘hot, cute, pretty’ are things that mostly teenagers care about, but eh, why not, right?
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uncomfortable pt 1

Being alive means being consistently uncomfortable
Your spine curves in a way that doesn’t seem fitting for the body you have
Your fingers fidget when talking with other human beings
Your mind always goes back to the idea that maybe being alive is an illusion (and then you immediately try to forget that feeling of panic and grief and loneliness by confirming that it is a crazy idea and trying to quickly think of something funny and trivial you saw)
And even in the brief moments of comfort
There’s a voice that whispers “this will all be gone one day”
jan 2018
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There is moss that has always grown between the parting of my lips
I have waited for it to clear
Hoping that the season will change
And I will finally bloom
It is strange (and probably not so strange) that I take a passive approach to no longer being passive
oct 2017
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The corporate world
Has routine and people
Who give you tasks
Tasks that Must Be Done A S A P
It is difficult to be a full person
In the corporate world
But it is easy to be a robot
And yet it is a privilege to be a robot in this world
To not have:
Only swollen joints and a rusted spine
I should be grateful?
oct 2017
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on writing

my brain is spaghetti,
and when I write,
I am wrapping the noodles around my fork in clean, easy bites
until my skull is an empty dish.

nov 2017

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function day()

I hear a sound
I position my body to stand
Then walk
Then sit
I complete a task
I position my body to stand
Then walk
Then sit
I complete a task
I complete a task
I complete a task
I open my mouth and make a remark that I either mean or say to fill the silence
I position my body to stand
Then walk
I complete a task
I walk again
Then position my body to lay horizontally
And close my eyes
And sleep
july 2017
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